Living With It
by Cat and Fiddle
Summary: [Neji x Shikamaru, Shikamaru x Neji] Chap 4 summary: [Companion!fic to Doors] Neji hates closed doors. Shikamaru doesn't see the point in them. [oneshots, songfics, and drabbles]
1. The Using and The Used

**The Using and The Used.**

_**-**_

_"Burry me under your window with the cinder block in hand."_

_**-**_

(Neji)

**It wasn't like I wanted to do the Nara specifically, it was just that everyone else was already taken. Hell, I wasn't even sure I liked men. Just... any viable options were closed. I usually slept with Tenten or Hinata (since Hinata was supposed to be my future wife, anyways) and occasionally Ino or Kiba, when I wanted someone who would scream for me.**

**But then Lee finally summoned the courage to ask Tenten out, and when she said yes, she shut me out of her bedroom. Permanently. Next Hinata got rolled up in a threesome with Kiba and Shino, and I'd rather not be castrated by either one of those guys, thank you very much. Ino got all mixed up with Chouji and she felt too bad about cheating on him to fuck with me more than once after they'd started dating. Sakura is a frigid bitch and won't give me anything, and that left me with the Nara, since Naruto was off chasing Sasuke (after all these years, he's still at it).**

**I guess I sleep around this much to escape the confines of being a Branch Hyuuga. Sex is something that is completely for me, not for Hiashi-sama, not for Hinata-sama, not for (god forbid) Hanabi-sama. I do it for myself. Not even for my partner- because I could really care less if he or she actually gets off- just for me.**

**Shikamaru lived by himself by that point, though he chose a small, cramped apartment on the seedier side of town. I never understood that, since he made far more than enough to live somewhere nicer.**

**The lights were on, so I combed my fingers through my hair and adjusted my hitai-ate one last time before knocking on his door. There was a bit of shuffling from inside before he cracked it open and a bar of light fell across my face. I squinted into it.**

**"Good evening," I said.**

**"Yeah," he mumbled, not opening the door any wider. I noted that the deadbolt was still in.**

**"Can I come in?" I asked. He studied me lazily for a moment and I began to worry he actually wouldn't let me in.**

**"Sure," he said finally, reaching up and undoing the last lock. The door swung open just enough for me to slip in and quickly shut behind me. I toed off my shoes, wrinkling my nose at the curls of cigarette smoke that rose into the air as he took another drag.**

**I gingerly plucked the half-burned cigarette from his lips, smiling coyly, "You shouldn't smoke. It's bad for you."**

**"Ch, troublesome," he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets and loping into the living room. I shrugged and tossed the gross cigarette into the sink as I followed. Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I slid onto the couch next to him, and he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, already moving lighting another cigarette. I took that one away, too.**

**"Don't," I said.**

**"Why not?" he answered. I frowned a little, tossing the unlit smoke away.**

**"Because I don't like it," I told him candidly, growing tired of the small talk. I came for sex, not chatting. He shrugged, pulling an entire pack out of his pocket and slapping it on the coffee table, which was pressing uncomfortably into my shins. I leaned closer to him, still smiling.**

**"Then that's your problem," he rolled his eyes, realizing my intentions at last. He shifted uncomfortably. "I take it Sakura turned you down?"**

**"She's completely frigid," I nodded, beginning to crawl over him, relieved to have my legs away from the god-awful table. He made no move to avoid my advances, but didn't seem particularly interested either. It bothered me, the way he turned his lazy eyes on me, knowing but not caring.**

**"I thought she would be," he responded, completely serious, letting me push him back until he was lying down, "I take it you want sex from me instead?"**

**"Yes," I purred, ghosting my lips over his neck, not sweetly. He gripped my arms, causing the neck of my yukata to open a little more.**

**"I'm not working," he whispered, closing his eyes.**

**"I didn't expect you to," I chuckled, already working on his pants. They came off easily and he reached up, dragging the silky material of my yukata off of my shoulders with the most careful caresses I had ever received. Removing myself from the disconcerting gesture, I sat back on my heels and quickly shrugged the rest of the way out of the garment. He stared, reaching up to run his hands along my sides. I swatted the hands away before they grazed the skin.**

**"I don't do foreplay," I informed him, smirking and straddling him. He sighed.**

**"Oh well. Lube's in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Go get it."**

**I frowned. "Why do I have to get it?"**

**This time he smirked; "Because I'm not doing any work."**

**"Bitch," I hissed, getting up and stalking off to his bathroom, which was easy to find, and was also a terrible mess. I got in and out of there as quickly as I could, returning to the couch with the lube in hand. He rolled over onto his hands and knees while I coated myself with the lube before joining him. I adjusted his hips so they were where I wanted them before slipping in a finger. I felt a shiver run down his spine.**

**"How thoughtful of you," he gasped, and I could hear the smirk in his words, "I'll bet you don't prep just everyone before you fuck them."**

**"Shut up," I growled, "Want me to do you without?"**

**He shook his head, and it was relatively silent.**

**It wasn't like I tried to make it anything special. In fact, it wasn't even that great for me, and he didn't even get off. But it was sex, and it was freedom from the Hyuuga cage for however long it took me to cum. Yet, he still moaned and shouted my name, as if I was doing it all just to pleasure him.**

**It pissed me off severely, and I think I might have hurt him pretty badly in my anger (he could barely move when I'd finished with him). But he asked for it.**

_**-**_

_"Yeah, 'cause no-one will ever feel like this again_

_And if I could move, I'm sure it would only be to crawl back to you."_

_**-**_

(Shikamaru)

**I could tell Neji wasn't trying at all to make it a good experience for me, but it still felt great. I don't think he realized it, but he hit my spot every time, and I couldn't hold back the shouts or moans. Goddamn, I must have sounded like such a bitch, just taking it like that.**

**And I didn't even get off, the bastard; hell, I didn't even get my shirt off! He just pulled out as soon as he'd had his fun and was done, smirking at me as he tugged his yukata on and I rolled over, my problem still obvious.**

**"You're just too slow for me, Nara." His voice was layered in poisoned honey, and he leaned over and placed a rough kiss on my lips, leaving them bruised. I watched him seem to float out of the door, and wondered why in the hell I wished he wasn't leaving.**

**He was an ass.**

**I hissed through my teeth, letting my head drop back, wrapping a hand around my erection to jerk off.**

**"Fuck you, Neji."**

**But as much as I hated him, I knew I would spread my legs wide if he condescended to come 'round again, which he did. At least twice a week, thought usually more often than that, he appeared at my doorstep, pulled the cigarette from between my lips, replacing it with his lips in a bruising collision- the only contact other than his hands on my hips that I would get from him- and he would leave as soon as he was done, half the time me having to jerk off afterward.**

**I learned to come fast pretty quickly under the circumstances.**

**And when I found that however-many-times a week wasn't enough for me- that I thought about him all the time, wondering which days he would come that week- I realized that, if my ass didn't hurt so much afterward every time, I would go to him and ask for it.**

**But I wouldn't, because that would be letting myself become far too used.**

**As if I wasn't used enough, as it was.**

_**-**_

_"I must have dragged my guts a block..._

_... they were gone by the time we (talked)"_

_**-**_

(Neji)

**As much as I loathed the Nara for welcoming me in his own lazy way every time I went to his house, I had to go back. I would stay away for as long as I could, but it always boiled down to me at his doorstep, pulling another cig from his lips.**

**I chalked it up to needing to do something for myself, to escape the Hyuuga cage.**

**"Say, Nara," I breathed running my hands up his bare back, relishing the way he convulsed under the touches, unused to me doing anything more than a fuck-and-go, "Why do you live in such a dump if you can easily afford better?"**

**"I'm saving my money," he gasped, his arms nearly giving out. I hooked an arm around his waist to hold him up, positioning myself.**

**"For what?" I asked, mildly curious. He shrugged his shaking shoulders.**

**"For when I have a family and children in the future," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.**

**I slammed in, not wanting to hear any more.**

**If the guy wanted a serious relationship, it was not going to be with me. Shikamaru could hate me if he wanted to, could hate me all he needed to, but I was not going to commit myself to anyone.**

**That would be flying out of one cage and into another, and I would not do that to myself.**

_**-**_

_"I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself."_

_**-**_

(Shikamaru)

**I winced as I gingerly sat down on my balcony, back against the wall of my house, taking a long drag of my cigarette.**

**Neji didn't care about me, I knew that. Hell, he made it obvious every night when the only touches he gave me left black a blue bruises the next morning. He made it obvious every night he came but left me to jerk off alone.**

**So why couldn't I hate him? I wanted to, oh how I wanted to hate the bastard, but I lost my focus every time he dropped by, plucking a smoke from my lips, every time he gave me that one kiss before we stumbled to either the couch or my bed (more often the couch, as he was as impatient in sex as he was in anything else).**

**I exhaled the cloud of smoke, watching it drift away. I reached into the plume, watching it swirl around my hand while taking another drag with the other.**

**I hated myself.**

**I hated myself for every night I cracked open the door, pretending to myself that I didn't know it was Neji, that I was completely innocent answering the knock that was only Neji's. I hated myself for every time I let slip a moan or, god forbid, a shout, of pleasure when he thrust into me.**

**I was being completely complacent in letting him use me. And I couldn't hate him for it, even when he said the most crushing things to me.**

_**-**_

_"But you know that I could crush you with my voice."_

_**-**_

(Neji)

**"Neji."**

**He said it so quietly I could barely hear it. I grunted in response, not interested in small talk that night. He swallowed dryly.**

**"I, uh..."**

**"What, Nara?" I spat, not bothering to look into his eyes as he craned his neck to look back at me over his shoulder.**

**"Neji," he repeated, pulling out of my grip, turning over. I scowled.**

**"Stop saying my name like that," I hissed, and he flinched, reaching up to snake his arms around my waist imploringly. I grasped his wrists, holding his hands away from me, "What?"**

**"Nothing, Neji," he said sadly, and I dropped his hands.**

**"Good," I told him, motioning for him to flip over again and he complied, "And stop saying my name like that, goddamnit."**

**He didn't answer me, and it bothered me, so I got up and left without doing anything further, retying my hair.**

**I'd heard the Hinata, Kiba, and Shino trio was having troubles, and I was confident I could snag Kiba for the night.**

_**-**_

_"Stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me,_

_Hide the details, I don't want to know a thing."_

_**-**_

(Shikamaru)

**I guess that night when Neji asked why I lived where I lived, I should have told him it was for the stars, which were brighter and clearer from my roof than any other, instead of admitting to him that I was saving up for a family. I should have known it would piss a guy like him off.**

**But it had been worth a try. He'd caught the hint that I wanted a real relationship with him, or else he would have laughed, not shut me up painfully.**

**I burned out my smoke on the roof tile, propping a leg up on a knee as I looked up at the stars, twinkling down at me, and sighed heavily.**

**I noticed that Neji smelled like soap a little stronger than he used to. I noticed there were marks on his neck that were decidedly not from sparring. I noticed Kiba's ego had swelled to new heights and Shino wandered to and from the Hyuuga residence at odd times of the night.**

**I noticed all this, and ignored it.**

**Neji still came to me. Still came to me. He still greeted me with a coy smirk, taking my cigarette and kissing me, not as roughly as he used to, but with less compassion than he had before.**

**Neji hid the fact that he was screwing with all of us pretty well. I'm pretty sure Kiba was oblivious, and Shino only knew about Kiba. Hell, Neji might have been screwing a few of the girls by then, too, and I didn't know it.**

**But he still came to me, so I ignored it all.**

**I didn't want to know who else he fucked, as long as he was still fucking me.**

_**-**_

_"I hate the way you say my name like it's something secret."_

_**-**_

(Neji)

**I really didn't want to see Shikamaru, I swear I didn't. But team eight was away on some mission that would last an ungodly amount of time- an entire month- so I was left with no other choice than the Nara. It's not like he would mind, anyway.**

**"Hey," I greeted sweetly, drawing the cigarette out of his partially parted lips, leaning forward to kiss him. He stood still for me, taking it like he did every time, except this time, he ran his tongue along the bottom of my lip. I grimaced and pulled away, wiping my mouth on the sleeve of my yukata.**

**He let me in. "Hey, Neji."**

**I spared him a glance, already pulling my clothes off my shoulders on my way to the couch.**

**"Could we use the bed tonight?" he asked softly. I looked at him, but he seemed determined.**

**"I don't see why not," I sighed, leading the way.**

**His bed was not the most comfortable bed in the world, but it offered much more space than the couch did, and he laid down for me. I removed his bottoms, and he took his shirt off. I quirked a brow at his actions.**

**Something was different that night, but I couldn't put my finger on it.**

**"Neji," he simpered, and I grabbed the lube, covering myself with it. He made another soft sound as I began prepping him.**

**"Neji," he said again.**

**"Stop saying my name," I hissed, positioning myself, propping myself up with my hands on either side of his head.**

**"Neji..." he breathed as though it were some big, fucking over-blown secret, grasping my wrists.**

**"Stop," I told him, "Stop!"**

**"But, Neji, I-"**

**"No. Shut up," I said, "You're not allowed to talk during sex, anymore."**

**He closed his mouth and I heard his teeth click.**

**Hinata found a letter on my nightstand a few mornings later. It was from Shikamaru, and I was immensely grateful that she had not opened it.**

**After reading it, I felt a little guilty about what I had been doing to the Nara for the past year, and I didn't go to him for sex any more.**

_**-**_

_"My pen is the barrel of the gun..._

_... remind me which side you should be on."_

_**-**_

(Shikamaru)

**I guess maybe the letter was a little too much, and I did regret it when Neji stopped coming to me. I tried to talk to him once, but he ignored me.**

**It was like I didn't exist, like I had never been significant in his life. Which I guess I hadn't been, since all I was to him was release. Someone he could go to who would let him and spread their legs willingly.**

**I can't believe I let him do that to me, that I let myself be his bitch.**

**No, not even a bitch. I was less than that, because a bitch would at least have been allowed to touch him, or speak to him. I always thought it was ironic that he avoided me, but not Kiba or Shino in public, when I was the one who gave the most of himself to the Hyuuga.**

**An ass, as always, I suppose. That was how he always was- never knew how to appreciate what he had.**

**Though I still find myself wishing that I could have gotten more from him than what I got in the bedroom. I would have liked to talk to him out on the streets, maybe eat lunch with him once in a while. But that was just me being too much of a romantic for Neji. Maybe that's why he couldn't put more of himself into our relationship than the empty sex he gave.**

**Sitting at the bar with Kiba one evening, though, it really hit home that I had been completely cut out of the picture.**

**It was crowded and loud, the air drenched in sweat, smoke, and the smell of stale beer. Kiba and I both nursed mostly-full mugs, and Neji made his way over, stride confident as if he owned the place. Kiba and I both turned, me offering a small smile while Kiba grinned widely and waved.**

**"Yo, Neji!" he laughed, clapping the Hyuuga on the shoulder. Neji offered him a cold smile, but Kiba didn't seem to notice, or care if he did notice.**

**"Hey, Neji," I said in my soft drawl, but he didn't even blink, sliding onto a stool to Kiba's left, away from me.**

**The smile stayed plastered on my face, but I couldn't finish my drink as I watched Kiba yammer on to Neji, and Neji listened and nodded periodically.**

**When Shino came, I gave up my seat to him, and Neji greeted the Aburame as well. It was like I didn't exist in Neji's world.**

**Which, I guess, was pretty true at the point.**

_**-**_

_"I wish that I was as invisible as you make me feel."_

_**-**_

_**-**_

I felt like writing a song-fic for some strange reason, and this came out. It's not quite the way I would have liked... in fact, I don't even really like it at all, but it's two in the morning, so maybe that has something to do with it (yes, my insomnia has kicked in again... dangit).

I swear, the next update will be one of my multi-chaptered stories, no really, I mean it. I'm just taking a break from them for a while.

As for the rant about my life... just a bit of quick info on me: the guy I like is 6'4" and I am 4'11", but I actually think he likes me.

I also found out last weekend that while everyone calls him by a nickname and I'm the only one who still calls him by his real name... he actually prefers to be called by his real name. Brownie points for me!


	2. The River

_**The River**_

-

Mom and Dad used to argue. They used to argue a lot. They argued about stupid things, like what we ate for dinner and Dad's facial hair. They argued about the deer (while I cried and cradled the sick fawn in my lap) and Mom once turned my room upside down looking for something; I never figured out what.

I hated that they argued, but I hated even more that I always cried and stood aside, watching, but unable to say anything. I tried, once, to tell them to stop. I asked them why we couldn't all just get along like a normal family.

They yelled at me, so I left.

I didn't cry after that.

-

For eight years of my life, of which I only really remember six, I locked myself in my room when it was quiet, and perched on the roof when they yelled, distracting myself by counting roofs.

When I was eight, I had long since developed my lazy love for cloud gazing, but never could clear my mind they way I needed to, to really enjoy the activity.

Mom and Dad still argued all the time.

They had a really big blow-out one day, and I left through the window in my room. I walked down to the river, where I'd taken to cloud-gazing, and slipped into the cool water. Clear, as it had always flowed.

And closed my eyes.

I was not going to watch the clouds that afternoon.

-

Things didn't work out the way I'd intended- Chouji found me, Kimi intervened. I didn't drown.

A year later, Mom and Dad watched me closely, and the house was silent. It had been silent ever since Kimi. No arguing.

Mom and Dad talked, but it wasn't like a family. It was like we all had to start over and re-learn who each person was. I didn't know what my mom was like, except that she had a really big loud voice for a woman. I didn't know what my dad was like, except that he had the same lazy drawl as me. Mom and Dad hardly knew me (they were shocked at my laziness).

A year later, Mom and Dad remembered the anniversary of the day I tried to drown myself, and the house was silent.

I slipped out and walked to the river, resigning myself to a large boulder and skipping flat stones along the rippling surface.

Chouji remembered, too, and he came to visit me, though he didn't throw stones. I remember he offered me sour cream and onion chips, because he was going through a sour cream and onion faze, but I didn't want any.

I wondered if Kimi remembered the anniversary, since she had kind of been the one to stop all the arguing.

I wanted to thank her.

-

I can't remember when it started again, because it built up slowly. At first there wasn't yelling; in fact, there wasn't even really disagreement, just a bit of dissonance and a few nuances that gave off bad vibes. Mom and Dad couldn't remember why they loved each other.

Second anniversary: Mom threw a pitcher at Dad.

I slipped out of my window and visited my old companion, the river. I wouldn't call it my friend, since it kind of helped me try to kill myself when I was eight, but... a companion, nonetheless. Always there, always there.

The river would remember, but Chouji didn't that year.

I heard Kimi passed by to check on me, but I must not have been there or else I would have noticed. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't.

-

On the fourth anniversary, I decided that arguing was just the way my family defined itself, and left it at that. Shogi was a good distraction, so was my new gennin cell. The river was still there.

I didn't get to visit my old companion, the river, 'cause I was out on a mission, rescuing some dumb dog that really didn't need any rescuing at all.

You know, one of those lame d-rank gennin missions.

I thought about the river.

-

Seven anniversaries in and I barely even thought of the river when the day would come and go.

I had sinks, then. They were smaller, more awkward, and I had to crane my neck to submerge my entire face, but it was more convenient.

Yes, I admit it, on the seventh anniversary, I did it again. I tried to drown myself.

But it wasn't because Mom and Dad were arguing (even though they were, or else they would have heard the sink running). My boyfriend, Kiba, was cheating on me. I hadn't caught him yet, but I was pretty sure.

No-one visited the river.

-

By the tenth anniversary, I had moved out and was living on my own. I toyed with the idea of visiting my old friend, the river- because by then, I did consider it a friend- but ultimately decided against it.

Asuma had recently died, and I was standing at my sink again, watching the water smooth out before I tried again.

I never could quite make it, but this time I was determined.

Neji burst in; drug me away from the sink. He never knew about the anniversary I was celebrating, but he knew about my habits. I was dating him at the time.

For the first anniversary in nine years, I wasn't alone at the river.

-

Not long after that, Neji moved in with me, and I had him day and night. All the time; when I wanted him, when I didn't want him. We argued a lot, but it wasn't the same as Mom and Dad. We didn't yell- except for once, but that was only once- and one of us always apologized afterward.

-

Eleven years to the day, there was a drought, and the river was gone when I visited, Neji by my side.

Twelve years and it was swollen with floods.

Thirteen years and we vowed it was the last anniversary we would celebrate.

Fourteen years found us at my parents' house, instead.

Fifteen years, I snuck down to the river alone (Neji never found out).

The sixteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth anniversaries I stayed away.

Nineteen years and Chouji took me, but we didn't mention the 'why'.

-

"Shikamaru-kun," Neji says. I glance up over my book, nodding to show that I'm listening.

"What day is it?" he asks.

"...May fourteenth," I answer softly, turning a page.

It's the twentieth anniversary today, but I'd rather ignore it.

"Oh," he answers, examining a newly polished kunai, "Does this look clean enough?"

"Of course it does," I drawl.

He smiles, "Thanks."

**_-_**

**_-_**

Eh eh, just a bit more on Shikamaru's whole attempted suicide, mentioned in _But Don't Stop_... I guess I gave a bit too much away about future events in the story, with the whole Neji moving in thing... just pretend that isn't there.


	3. Innocence in a Bottle of Whiskey

**Innocence in a Bottle of Whiskey.**

Inspiration/Lyrics from: _Where Is Your Boy Tonight?_ by _FOB_

Author's Notes: We've all seen it (and I've even written it, take a look at chapter one!) Hyuuga Neji the town slut and whore and the reluctant Shikamaru, winding up in the same bed by some twist of fate, leading them into a messy relationship. Neji the pervert, Neji the sex maniac.

So I thought: What if _Shikamaru_ was the town slut and whore, and Neji the innocent but curious victim? It seems unlikely, given their personalities, but read on.

I don't think they're too OOC.

**_-_**

**_-_**

**Hyuuga Hiashi did not know what to make of his nephew's behavior. For the past month, Neji would excuse himself from dinner early and half-an-hour later, Hiashi would watch from his bedroom window as the teen left the compound, hair brushed and pale lilac yukata fastened tightly in double-knots. Neji never bothered with double-knots for training.**

**At first he assumed it was a lover, understanding that he himself had searched out companions when his own arranged marriage had loomed over his head. He only hoped the boy would go about the business right and not get caught. But Neji always returned between one and two hours of his departure, hair still smooth and tied loosely with a string, every knot in his yukata untouched.**

**No, Hyuuga Neji did not have a lover, Hiashi concluded.**

**Thus, standing in front of the sliding door to Neji's room after dinner, it was Hiashi's full intention to ask the boy himself. There was no need to knock- if Neji were in, he would have long ago noticed his uncle's presence outside his door. But Hyuuga Neji was not present and accounted for. The door did not open, and no-one asked what Hiashi-sama wanted with forced politeness.**

**Hiashi had missed Neji. Defeated, he retired to his room to further contemplate the possible reasons for Neji's nighttime trips on this first night of the second month of his nephew's peculiar development.**

**_-_**

_"Where is your boy tonight?_

_I hope he is a gentleman."_

**_-_**

**Inuzuka Kiba was the only one who knew Nara Shikamaru's secret- how the lazy nin got laid every night. To most, it was baffling. The leading man whore of the northwest district, Shikamaru could always be found at the only club when he wasn't ill or on a mission, but one would never look for him on the dance floor. He was always at the bar, straddling a stool, back against the counter watching the floor with dark eyes as he fingered a bottle of whiskey that wasn't meant for him.**

**It was for whoever his lover that night would be, and it was an unspoken taboo for anyone to have whiskey if it wasn't whiskey got from Shikamaru.**

**Kiba was a different kind of whore, a more sophisticated one, in a way. Kiba was a chooser. Kiba was a dancer. That was how he liked to pick his lays. If the man could dance then it was safe to assume that he would be good in bed, was Kiba's philosophy. Kiba was a higher class whore, and he usually gave his rejections to Shikamaru.**

**Kiba didn't care if was someone was attractive; if they weren't going to be good in bed, he didn't want them. Shikamaru didn't discriminate. Money in his pocket was money in his pocket. Kiba didn't take money, Shikamaru did. Kiba took pleasure, Shikamaru didn't care. Kiba generally bottomed, Shikamaru, once again, didn't really care.**

**So when Kiba found an attractive man who couldn't dance worth a shit he asked him if he wanted to get a drink. Always, his partner would accept and they would amble to the bar, coincidentally next to Shikamaru, and Kiba would order a drink for himself. Only for himself. That was Shikamaru's cue to roll his lazy eyes to the newcomer and whisper in a drawl with a faint smirk, "How much would you pay for whiskey?"**

**And any fool would know what that meant, and Kiba would walk off, laughing.**

**That was the way they usually did it, but sometimes someone in particular caught Shikamaru's eye. Then, he would lure them over with sultry looks and slight gestures. If all else failed, offering up the mug of whiskey would bring them over (along with a crowd of hopeful others who Shikamaru would ignore).**

**"Say, Shikamaru, you noticed that guy over there?" Kiba gestured to a pale figured huddled against the opposite wall, watching the dancers, "Stood there, same every night, for the last month, at least."**

**"That... is Hyuuga Neji." Shikamaru drummed his fingers on his mug, leaning back until the bartender gave him a quick slap for intruding on his space. He grimaced and readjusted his position.**

**"Oh," Kiba laughed, "Well, he's a stubborn mule. I've asked him to dance loads of times- I mean, with that lithe body and _those_ hands, he's got the make of a great dancer, if y'know what I mean- but he always says no, he doesn't dance."**

**Shikamaru tilted his head to one side, eyeing the Hyuuga. "Hmm. Have you asked him if he would like a drink yet?"**

**Kiba chuckled, taking a swig of his beer. "Ah, so you want him, huh? How're you feelin' for a threesome, in that case."**

**"You know I don't do those, Kiba-"**

**"Yeah, yeah," Kiba grinned, slamming his mostly full drink down and pushing away from the counter where he'd been leaning, "I know. Too troublesome, right?"**

**Shikamaru smiled to himself as he watched Kiba thread through the crowd toward Neji, running his fingers through the condensation forming on the outside of his glass.**

**Hyuuga Neji.**

**Kiba fell into conversation with the Hyuuga easily, and Shikamaru watched his accomplice gesture to the bar. At first Neji refused, but after a bit more of Kiba's insistence glanced at the bar indecisively. Shikamaru blinked once, slowly, shifting in his chair suggestively. A few other heads turned. Neji immediately unfolded his arms and reluctantly followed Kiba to the bar.**

**"Beer, please," Kiba shouted over the music, ignoring his mostly full bottle that was still there. Shikamaru leaned closer to Neji.**

**"Whiskey?" he asked softly in a husky tone. He felt Neji bristle, a faint blush tingeing the boy's cheeks.**

**"I don't drink," he responded, but accepted the mug when it was pushed into his hands. He saw the bar tender roll his eyes and turned the drink in his hands nervously. Shikamaru watched those pretty fingers on his cup.**

**Kiba walked away with a harsh laugh, leaving his untouched drink on the counter by the old one.**

**"That's too bad," Shikamaru sighed, eyes closed.**

**"I haven't seen you drinking, either," Neji countered, eyes narrowed. Shikamaru turned one eye on him, and the Hyuuga looked away, rotating the whiskey in the opposite direction.**

**"So I don't," he agreed, watching Neji's hands intently. "Maybe you'd like something else?"**

**Neji stiffened, turning his sharp gaze on Shikamaru. "I'm... I'm not _paying_ for anything."**

**Shikamaru laughed easily. "Troublesome!" he smiled, "I'm offering my services. I only charge when I'm asked."**

**"Oh," Neji said. "I see."**

**Shikamaru smirked and got up, stretching. He slapped a few coins on the counter and Neji set aside the alcohol gratefully. "Come," Shikamaru said, leading Neji away with a hand on the small of his back, not bothered by the fact that Neji was taller than him by a few inches, "Let's get out of here."**

**Shikamaru vaguely wondered what the consequences would be if Hiashi discovered that he slept with Neji.**

**Neji, possibly the last good thing, the last _virgin_ of age, in the northwest district.**

**_-_**

_"Maybe he won't find out what I know:_

_You were the last good thing about this part of town."_

**_-_**

**Shikamaru led Neji down the street and let himself into a room on the fourth floor of a seedy apartment complex.**

**"Well? Are you coming or not?" he asked, dropping the keys in a basket on the kitchen counter on his way to the living room, leaving the door open for Neji. Neji sighed and entered, closing the door softly behind him. He glanced around the two-room abode with a critical eye, wrinkling his nose.**

**"Very romantic setting," he noted, following Shikamaru to the bed, massaging his left wrist. Shikamaru watched him do this.**

**"It doesn't have to be," he answered, "You're nervous."**

**"Am not," Neji snapped, dropping his hands to his sides stiffly. Shikamaru watched with amusement as the Hyuuga attempted to stifle a blush.**

**"You're a virgin," he stated. Neji folded his arms.**

**"So?" he said haughtily. Shikamaru shrugged.**

**"Just giving you a chance to back out," he explained, stepping closer; when he was close enough to feel the warmth of Neji's body, he stopped and looked up to meet the other's eyes. "Plus, I'm worried about my own ass. What if your uncle finds out?"**

**Neji scowled, "He won't."**

**Shikamaru answered with a wry smile, "Good."**

**Slipping a hand behind Neji's neck, he pulled both of them onto the bed, wrapping his legs around the older man. He made a show of arching his back before grazing his lips along Neji's. When Neji stiffened in response, he stopped with a sigh.**

**"This isn't going to work if you keep acting like a board," he frowned, releasing his legs and laying back in the covers. Neji's body shivered slightly and he sat back on his knees, blinking.**

**"Sorry," he breathed, running a hand through his hair. Shikamaru sat forward, pressing his body flush against Neji's. He reached up, undoing his partner's hitai-ate, tracing his fingers over the white bandages beneath, but thoughtfully leaving them alone when Neji's eyes snapped shut and he breathed in a soft hiss.**

**"Don't be," Shikamaru smiled, "Just... relax."**

**He gently pushed Neji back until he was lying down beneath Shikamaru, and the Nara straddled him. Shikamaru searched Neji's eyes for an objection, until the Hyuuga closed them, blushing lightly but keeping his breathing controlled. Shikamaru leaned down until their lips were touching. Slowly, he eased more pressure into the kiss and, clumsily, Neji attempted to reiterate his motions, until Shikamaru bit down, softly, and slipped his tongue into Neji's mouth. Then the elder gasped and arched his back into the kiss.**

**"Hands," Shikamaru murmured, placing one of Neji's at the base of his neck. Automatically, Neji brought his other hand to cup Shikamaru's cheek the way he had seen his own father, Hizashi, do once when kissing his mother. Slowly, hesitantly, the hand trailed down Shikamaru's neck, feathered along the collar bone, and across his chest. Shikamaru released Neji's mouth, moving on to his neck.**

**"Oh," he breathed, pausing as Neji's hands were just finding their way under his shirt. He reached down and held them in place for a moment, causing Neji to open his eyes.**

**"Am I doing something wrong?" he asked. Shikamaru shook his head.**

**"Naw, you're doin' good. I was just wondering... is it alright if I leave marks on your neck, or will Hiashi notice?"**

**Neji thought about it. "I don't care, do as you wish. I have a mission tomorrow. He won't see me until they're healed."**

**Shikamaru nodded and released Neji's hands, returning to his ministrations. He noted Neji was shaking, but that the boy continued to feel his way up his stomach with determination until his hands rested just above the thin part of his waist. He gave a jump as Shikamaru bit a part of his neck, moaning afterwards when it was licked apologetically. Neji tugged at Shikamaru's shirt.**

**Smirking, Shikamaru placed one last kiss on Neji's lips before sitting back and pulling his shirt off- he never wore his vest to the bar- and let Neji stare. Neji's hands were still on his waist, and after a moment began to roam. He sat forward, looking up at Shikamaru, who was standing on his knees, specifically watching the Nara's expression with interest as he rubbed his thumbs over the nipples experimentally and Shikamaru let his head fall back in obvious pleasure, gasping silently. To his credit, Neji only glanced down at the erection straining in Shikamaru's pants once.**

**When Shikamaru's hands found their way to Neji's shoulders and gripped tightly, the Hyuuga leaned forward, allowing his hands to wander elsewhere as he licked a dark spot tentatively. Shikamaru let out a moan. Growing more confident in his abilities, Neji slipped the tips of his fingers under the hem of Shikamaru's pants. They came off easily and they both pulled apart as Shikamaru took a moment to kick them and his boxers off completely.**

**He chuckled softly when Neji, who had been staring unabashedly, looked away, blushing when he noticed he'd been caught. He reached out and grasped Neji's chin, forcing the Hyuuga to meet his gaze.**

**"Thoughts?"**

**"Shut up," Neji snarled, "I thought the point of this was to _not to be able_ to have any thoughts."**

**Shikamaru laughed, and Neji glanced down at his partner again, mentally cursing the blush that spilled across his cheeks.**

**"Very well," Shikamaru said, letting go of Neji's chin and slipping his hands into the Yukata, trying to push it off. He scowled when it refused to budge. "What the hell have you done with this thing?" he muttered. Neji pursed his lips.**

**"I... forgot." He began to fumble with the ties, "They're double-knotted."**

**Shikamaru sat back on his heels and watched Neji scramble to undo the Yukata, wishing he had a cigarette. "Troublesome," he said. Neji scowled.**

**"I had good reason to-" he spat, the yukata finally untied. Shikamaru crawled forward, nuzzling it off his lover's shoulders.**

**"You'll have to tell me later," he breathed, using his hands to remove the article the rest of the way. Neji suppressed a groan as he was pushed back into the pillows. Shikamaru kissed his way down Neji's stomach until he reached his boxers, chuckling softly and shaking his head when he found they were silk. Before Neji could make any retorts however he slipped his tongue through the slit and licked up the length of Neji's erection.**

**"My god," Neji breathed, fisting the sheets. Shikamaru grinned, mouthing him through the cloth, enjoying the sounds he earned.**

**"It gets better," he promised, getting up and crawling to the other side of the bed to dig through a drawer for his lube, presenting Neji with a nice view of his ass. "Take them off."**

**Neji blanched. "What?"**

**Shikamaru sighed, pulling out the jar he was looking for. "I said take your boxers off. Unless you've decided we aren't having sex tonight."**

**Neji opened his mouth to shoot Shikamaru a scalding remark, but quickly closed it when Shikamaru turned around and scowled at him. Fingers already gripping the hem of the articles, he hurried to remove them the rest of the way as Shikamaru was dipping his fingers in the jar.**

**"Don't be so tense," he murmured sweetly, an utter contradiction to his previous, demeaning tone. He kissed Neji, straddling him. Neji's hands automatically flew up to play with Shikamaru's nipples and Shikamaru moaned into the kiss, pulling Neji's legs over his shoulders. Neji squawked indignantly.**

**"What are you-"**

**"Do you want to face me, or would you rather be on your hands and knees?" Shikamaru asked, leaning forward to kiss him, "Damn, you're flexible."**

**Neji blushed deeply. "Fine. Do whatever will feel best."**

**Shikamaru laughed, pressing a finger against Neji's entrance gently as he spoke; "I can make _anything_ feel good. I'm not famous for nothing, Hyuuga."**

**"Tch, I doubt tha- ah!" Neji jerked forward when Shikamaru slipped the finger in. Shikamaru murmured to him, pushing him back down with his free hand as he pushed in a second finger, stretching his partner. His hand on Neji's sternum moved to stimulate elsewhere as he slipped in the third finger. Neji grit his teeth, his back arching a few inches off the bed. Shikamaru's free hand quickly slid beneath him to support the arch as he searched for Neji's spot. Neji let out a strangled shout when he found it, quickly biting down on his lip to prevent further noise. Shikamaru chuckled, withdrawing his fingers and positioning himself.**

**"Last chance," he said, and the Hyuuga gave him a dazed look, not understanding. He shook his head, a bemused smile twitching on his lips. "Too late."**

**He pushed in and both of them gave shouts. After pausing for a moment to allow Neji to adjust, Shikamaru began a slow but steady thrust, aiming for the Hyuuga's spot. They were both breathing heavily and he could only assume Neji was enjoying it from the moans the older boy was constantly choking back, with little success. While one hand supported the arch in Neji's back as it came farther and farther off the bed, the other moved to pump Neji's erection.**

**"Sh-Shikamaru, ah, I l-lo-"**

**"Don't say it-" Shikamaru gasped, leaning forward to cover Neji's mouth with his.**

**Neji screamed, releasing, freezing for a brief moment in which Shikamaru followed him, biting back his shout with a soft whine. There was a moment when they both panted heavily, then he withdrew, easing Neji's arched back onto the bed again. He crawled up and lay on his side next to the Hyuuga, watching him fight to control his breath. After a few moments when it became apparent Neji was not going to be up for a second round, or to leave, Shikamaru stood and gathered his clothes, walking to the bathroom and tossing them into a basket with a few other outfits. He frowned.**

**"I'm going to have to do laundry soon," he muttered, "Tch. What a drag."**

**Slowly, he cleaned himself up, redid his ponytail, and walked out. Pulling a fresh outfit from a drawer in his dresser, he glanced over his shoulder at the sleeping Hyuuga, frowning. The teen would be extremely uncomfortable in the morning if he didn't get cleaned off, but... Shikamaru was just too tired to care. He got dressed and gathered his keys from the basket. Neji rolled over and muttered something in his sleep with a sigh.**

**Shikamaru swallowed dryly, trying not to remember what Neji had almost said. _I love you_.**

**Taboo.**

**Those were not words meant for a whore, they weren't even really words that Shikamaru believed should have been used at all. Neji had only been caught up in the sensation- he'd been a virgin, after all- and tried to do what all virgins fantasize. Shikamaru remembered when he himself used to imagine exclaiming that very same phrase when he had been an innocent virgin, when sex still equated love, and gave a short laugh, exiting the apartment.**

**He would sleep, and in the morning he would be rid of the night and the words that had almost, _almost_, but not actually, transpired between him and another virgin in his long string of lovers.**

**If one could rightfully call them _lovers_.**

**_-_**

_"When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forget_

_... that."_

**_-_**

**"So, Shikamaru," Kiba waved someone out of his chair and took it, scooting closer to Shikamaru and motioning for a beer, "You get 'im?" He gestured to the pale figure in pale lilac garb. Shikamaru groaned and smacked his head. The man standing at his side who had been negotiating the price for a night left with a huff at being blown off.**

**"Yeah," Shikamaru shrugged, switching the mug of whiskey to his other hand, "Pretty good for a virgin. He'll learn quickly, if someone wants to teach him."**

**Kiba quirked a brow. "And why don't you?"**

**Shikamaru sighed, a scowl settling into his features. "Not interested. I don't get money from him- he refuses to pay, and I don't feel like arguing with him over it. Like you said, he's a stubborn mule."**

**Kiba laughed. "Hey, what can I say? I know what I know. I'm going to go try and get him to dance."**

**"Don't bring him here if he ends up being a rejection," Shikamaru drawled. Kiba rolled his eyes, but nodded, still not getting up.**

**"Man, you really hate him, don't you? That's a first."**

**"Tch, I don't hate him," Shikamaru muttered, rotating the mug absently, "I'm just not interested in a repeat performance. It's too much _work_ to give him a good time. And he talks too much. Argues like a woman."**

**Kiba gave a short laugh that sounded more like a bark, tossing his unopened beer and catching it again, peering at the bubbles as they rose to the top and fizzed out. He picked at a corner of the label.**

**"Figures. Kinda looks like a woman with his hair like that, anyways, doesn't he?" Shikamaru refused to look. "Did he top or bottom?"**

**"Bottomed," he moaned, passing a hand over his face, "_More_ work."**

**"Lazy ass," Kiba said, not unkindly.**

**"Picky bastard," Shikamaru returned. Kiba shrugged, peeling the label the rest of the way off. Shikamaru squinted across the dance floor, watching as Neji declined a hopeful courtier. He shook his head, rolling his eyes when Neji glanced in his direction, "God, it's like he won't leave me alone."**

**"Hate him, you hate him," Kiba sang happily. He gestured to the bar tender, "Hey, you gotta pen, or something?"**

**The bartender nodded and grudgingly handed Kiba a pen.**

**"I mean, he's persistent! Damnit, Kiba, don't let him come over here. He can't possibly expect me to do him again for free. Troublesome virgin."**

**"Hate him!" Kiba laughed, "But he's not a virgin anymore, huh?" He elbowed Shikamaru, slipping his note into the whore's pocket.**

**"I don't hate him," Shikamaru muttered, holding the whiskey mug in his lap, glaring at it, "I just don't want to have to mother him into adulthood. Once was enough. You know what he tried to say to me? _I love you_."**

**Kiba gasped. "_No way_," he hissed, eyes narrowed, "Is he an idiot?"**

**Shikamaru scowled, "No, just an innocent virgin. Didn't you used to think of sex as 'making love'?" Kiba thought.**

**"Probably," he laughed, "But I don't remember. Seems silly now, though, huh?" He scanned the floor critically.**

**"Very silly," Shikamaru agreed, "And troublesome. No-strings-attached is much easier."**

**"Fine, I'll go distract him," Kiba sighed when he noticed Shikamaru glaring at Neji as the teen made his way toward them, unaffected by the lazy man's expression. Kiba pushed away from the bar, eyeing the note that went unnoticed in Shikamaru's pocket as he made his way toward Neji with a dejected laugh, that, like the letter, went unnoticed by the scowling Shikamaru.**

**Too busy hating him to care about whatever had been important enough to Kiba that it had to be written rather than shouted for everyone to hear. Shikamaru was soon distracted by another client, to whom he handed his mug of whiskey with a strained smile. Neji's eyes narrowed and he turned on his heel, quickly melting into the crowd of dancers. Kiba sighed, looking back to see Shikamaru glaring at the back wall of the club once again before leading away that night's lover.**

**_-_**

_"You hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you_

_(for you)"_

_**-**_

**Neji glared at Kiba as he approached, and Kiba rolled his eyes in return, trying to remember exactly _why_ he was chasing the mule-headed Hyuuga. Right, because Shikamaru said he was pretty decent in bed and he felt sorry for the guy.**

**"I only take whiskey," Neji muttered when Kiba leaned against the wall next to him, "And you already know there will be none of that tonight."**

**Kiba shrugged. "Don't pin your hopes on that guy, Neji. He does what he does and likes what he does. If you keep trying to come back to him, expecting him to screw you without being paid, he's just going to be annoyed and you won't get anywhere with it."**

**Neji didn't answer.**

**"You really want him then, huh?"**

**"I do not," Neji snarled, folding his arms. Kiba eyed his posture, noting the way it looked more like Neji was holding himself tightly than crossing his arms.**

**"Right," he said, "But you need him, or else you would have been able to stay away more than three days."**

**Neji bristled. "Also not true."**

**Shikamaru returned from the bathroom, counting through some bills in his hand and taking up his seat at the bar. Kiba smirked. "Just a blow job, this time. You could be in luck."**

**He watched Neji glare, a scowl settling into his features, with a chuckle.**

**_-_**

_"You need him."_

**_-_**

**"How about you try something new?" he suggested, draping an arm across Neji's shoulders.**

**"Not interested," Neji spat, shrugging away, but Kiba held on, digging his claw-like nails into Neji's shoulder, sporting a grin that showed his canines.**

**"Uh huh. Articulate tonight, aren't we?" he laughed, leading Neji away, who glared at him.**

**"I said no."**

**"It's rumored that I'm better than him," Kiba offered, removing his arm from Neji's shoulders. He pretended not to notice the once-over Neji gave him.**

**"Then how come you aren't as famous?" he retorted. Kiba shrugged.**

**"I'm high class. I choose who I fuck. Shikamaru just takes whoever'll pay."**

**"He took me," Neji countered, trying not to look shocked or upset by Kiba's bluntness. "I didn't pay."**

**"Mm, true, he sometimes singles people out," Kiba nodded, unfazed, "He took you at my recommendation. Oh, that reminds me, are you any good at dancing?"**

**"I suppose I would be," Neji answered, moving to tuck his hair behind his ear when all of it was already there, "My fighting style is similar to dancing."**

**Kiba laughed. "That's right! I remember you from the first chuunin exams. Poor Hinata, that was quite a fight!"**

**"It was her fault for not submitting to fate and forfeiting. I gave her the opportunity to," Neji defended himself, while simultaneously attempting to maintain an indifferent attitude. He noticed that they had already reached the seedy apartment complex and were taking the stairs. Kiba opened the door leading to the fourth floor.**

**"Yeah, but I was proud of her. How's she doing now? I haven't talked to her in ages."**

**"She is well, and her husband treats her like glass."**

**Kiba laughed, rifling through his pockets for the key to his apartment, to the immediate left of Shikamaru's. Neji refused to look at that door, instead watching Kiba as he produced the key with a tiny "Aha!" and unlocked the door. It opened, revealing a much homier setting than Shikamaru's apartment- which was mostly empty except for a futon bed, a couch, a TV, and the basket on the kitchen counter.**

**"This is-"**

**Almost immediately after he walked in, Neji was pulled into a rough kiss. Eyes wide open, Kiba was looking back with a smile as he guided them toward the bed. Unlike with Shikamaru, it was much more passionate, as though Kiba were actively interested in their doings. Neji's eyes fluttered closed, letting out a soft gasp when his knees hit the edge of the bed and he fell backwards onto it. Kiba followed with a laugh, sucking his neck and slipping his hands under the yukata, slowly feeling his way up the inside of Neji's thighs.**

**This time, Neji actually yelped when his neck was bitten, Kiba's incisors puncturing the skin. Kiba kissed the spot apologetically. "Sorry," he mumbled, kissing his way down Neji's chest, "kinda got carried away."**

**Neji was going to say something back, but all that came out was a breathy moan as Kiba licked then gently nipped at his nipple before pulling away to tug the yukata over his head, not caring to bother with the knots Shikamaru had complained adamantly about. Neji shivered in the cold, watching with interest as Kiba stood back and stripped slowly, a small blush rising on his cheeks at the man's exhibitionism. He glanced past Kiba and gave a shout, grabbing the covers to hide his bare skin.**

**"Kiba!" he exclaimed, "The door- it's still open!"**

**"So?" Kiba laughed, crawling over Neji, gently pulling the covers away, "We're all whores here. No-one's going to look twice."**

**"But-" Kiba cut him off with a heated kiss, guiding Neji's tongue into his mouth. Fully distracted, Neji timidly explored Kiba's mouth, growing more confident and tangling his hands in the Inuzuka's hair as Kiba moaned loudly, reaching back to wrap one of Neji's legs around his waist and Neji complied, pulling them completely onto the bed.**

**Kiba, deciding that Neji was still wearing altogether too much, removed the boy's boxers deftly, without warning, and Neji gave another yelp of surprise, quickly cut off as Kiba kissed him again. "Turn over," Kiba whispered.**

**"What?" Neji asked, confused.**

**"I said turn over, as in, lie on your stomach," he repeated. Neji blushed and muttered but complied. Kiba murmured gratefully and began at the center of Neji's back, licking all the way up to the base of his neck, repeating again, but a little lower the next time, and starting a little lower each successive time, until he tongued Neji's entrance and the boy gave out a shuddering gasp. Kiba laughed, feathering his hands over Neji's stomach as he leaned over the boy, pressing their bodies together and causing Neji to shiver, as he reached for the lube stashed on the headboard of the bed.**

**"I haven't topped in a while, so..." Kiba said, sitting back on his heels, coating himself with lube. "Hey! Don't turn over yet, sheesh. Virgins!"**

**"I'm not a virgin," Neji countered, but returned to the position Kiba had left him in, blushing faintly. Kiba laughed, straddling Neji and dipping a finger in. Neji stiffened, trying not to make any sounds- a small effort to keep what dignity he could.**

**"True, Shikamaru saw to that, didn't he?"**

**"Shut up, sex isn't about talking."**

**"You've got that right," Kiba laughed, "But someone needs to tell you that it's not about love, either."**

**Neji didn't have anything to say to that except, "Hurry up."**

**Kiba complied with a grin, pulling out his fingers and lifting Neji's hips off the bed, sliding a hand under his chest until he was on all fours. "Ready?" he whispered into Neji's ear and the boy shivered.**

**"Just- oh!" Kiba gave him no time to adjust, and began thrusting immediately, showering Neji's shoulders in kisses and soft bites as his hands found their way to Neji's arousal. Under so much stimulus Neji came fast, but Kiba didn't follow him. Thoughtfully, Kiba pulled out anyways, and they both lay down, panting and trying to catch their breath.**

**"Damnit," Kiba laughed, reaching down to jerk himself off, "Virgins!"**

**"That's not my fault," Neji muttered, eyeing Kiba's actions a bit guiltily.**

**"Of course it's not," Kiba nodded, arching his back off the bed marginally, still as much of an exhibitionist as ever, "Ah..."**

**"Could... could I help you with that?" Neji asked, and Kiba paused for a moment, turning his head to look at him.**

**"You'd really do that?" Neji blinked, wondering himself why he had offered. "You don't have to."**

**"I... I'd like to," he said. Kiba grinned and sat up.**

**"Sure, but it might be easier if you kneel on the floor and I sit at the edge of the bed. Better angle," he explained at Neji's confused look. Neji crawled off the bed and knelt on the floor as Kiba scooted to the edge and spread his legs. Neji swallowed dryly, staring nervously at Kiba's arousal.**

**"Like I said, you don't have to," Kiba laughed, not offended. Neji shook his head.**

**"No, I'll prove I can do it," he said with determination, leaning forward and taking all of Kiba into his mouth in one go. Kiba let his head fall back, moaning.**

**"Careful with your teeth," he panted, "I'm not much of a masochist."**

**Neji tried to say something, but it was too muffled for either of them to understand so he shut up and concentrated on the task before him.**

**"Nah, Neji, I'm going c-" Kiba tried to warn him, but didn't quite finish, and Neji choked on the unexpected release, turning away in time to notice Shikamaru standing in the doorway, mouth open, his most recent lover's arms wrapped around his waist as they watched.**

**"Sh-Shikamaru!" Neji exclaimed, standing, only to realize he wasn't dressed. He blushed and snatched his yukata off the ground, covering himself with it clumsily.**

**"Nice catch, Kiba," Shikamaru scoffed, leading his lover away.**

**"Wait!" Neji exclaimed, heading after him, but Kiba grabbed his arm.**

**"Hey, just forget him," he said, ignoring the frantic look Neji gave him, "You don't need him. See me any time you want, okay?"**

**Slowly, Neji nodded, and Kiba let go, staring at his feet.**

**_-_**

_"I could be him."_

**_-_**

**"So, Kiba, are you pleased with yourself?"**

**Kiba groaned, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. "Would you leave me _alone_ about it!? If I didn't know better, I'd say you actually _cared_ that I screwed him!"**

**Shikamaru scoffed, "Good thing you know better then, isn't it?"**

**Kiba groaned again, gulping down the rest of his beer. The bartender raised a brow, as Kiba finishing a beer was a rare event indeed. Kiba turned to lean his back against the bar, crossing his legs and surveying the dance floor critically.**

**"Damn," he hissed, "Virgin-boy's back again."**

**Shikamaru groaned, letting his head fall back, hitting the counter with a dull thud. "Quick, dump the whiskey out!"**

**Kiba laughed harshly. "Yeah, well, it's your turn to deal with him."**

**"Weren't you the one who offered to see to him when he needed it?"**

**"I changed my mind," Kiba shrugged, "Besides; I'm not feeling too well."**

**Shikamaru smirked. "That's what you get for drinking so much alcohol at once, you troublesome idiot. You don't normally finish a single beer in an entire night, let alone in five minutes."**

**"Gah," Kiba exclaimed, pressing his hands to both sides of his head and shaking it, as if that could have helped, "You're kidding me! That took way longer than five minutes."**

**Shikamaru only shook his head.**

**"Fine, then I'm going home. I feel like I'm going to puke, which I probably am, damn... I shoulda let Ma get me used to lotsa alcohol during all those ceremonies!" he tottered off, mumbling to himself, "Damnit, whose idea was it that I should avoid drinking? Oh yeah, Shino's. I'll have to kick his ass for it."**

**Shikamaru sighed when Neji stopped in front of him, arms crossed and glaring. He switched the mug of whiskey to the hand farthest from Neji, who watched him do so without a word.**

**"What do you want?" Shikamaru drawled.**

**"You," Neji answered simply.**

**Shikamaru scowled. "Kiba offered himself to you, go find him."**

**"He just left, and I don't like him as much as I like you," Neji stated, "Too showy."**

**The lazy nin laughed heartily. "Ah, I see Kiba's still as much of an exhibitionist as ever. You should watch him dance, someday. It's really something to see."**

**Neji rolled his eyes. "I don't care about the mutt. I can't pay you, but I can give you something better than what you have now."**

**Shikamaru's mouth snapped shut with an audible click, and the bartender watched them over the glass he was polishing repeatedly. "I don't do... _love_," he spat, "Too complicated."**

**Neji glared. "You could at least give it a try-"**

**"Look!" Shikamaru scowled, letting go of his mug to massage both temples, "You're just a troublesome virgin to me. Go bother someone else!"**

**"You must have seen _something_ in me," Neji countered, "Or you wouldn't have offered."**

**The whore groaned. "Because _Kiba_ saw something in you!"**

**"I don't believe you."**

**"Too bad! You should really start listening to what people tell you, you arrogant asshole, because you aren't always right. You were an _accident_. If I had known you'd be this troublesome, I definitely would have stayed clear of you and you're... you're antics. _Love_, Tch!"**

**Shikamaru laughed darkly, not noticing when Neji leaned over him, picking up the mug of whiskey. He cleared his throat, and Shikamaru opened his eyes, the laughter quickly drying up. He scowled.**

**"You going to pay for that?"**

**Neji only smiled, taking a small sip. "No," he whispered, setting it down next to Kiba's empty beer bottle, "I'm not."**

**Then he turned and slipped away, unable to hold back his spluttering at the awful taste of cheap whiskey. Behind him, Shikamaru glared at the wasted whiskey, his lips set in a deep frown. Neji was trying; Shikamaru was just being... the whore he was. But damnit, that made Neji angry.**

**_-_**

_"I could be an accident, but I'm still trying,_

_and that's more than I can say for him."_

**_-_**

**After tastelessly dumping out the remaining whiskey Shikamaru had retired to his bed at his parents house- too lazy to bother moving, and not excited by the prospect of paying his own bills- and would have slept through the entirety of the next day if he hadn't been woken up by someone knocking at his door. He groaned and rolled over, not interested in getting up, but, damnit, the sun was shining in through his window, falling squarely on his face. Grudgingly, he sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning widely.**

**"What do you want?" he groaned, tugging at his loosened ponytail.**

**"To make sure you get up!" Yoshino exclaimed, banging on his door some more, "It's four in the afternoon and you have a mission this evening! Don't think I'd let you forget, you lazy son!"**

**Shikamaru rolled his eyes, flopping back into the covers with a sigh. He turned onto his side to glare at the mission assignment papers lying on his floor. To his credit, at least he had attempted to read them the night before, this time, but it looked as though he'd have to do what he usually did- read them on the trip to wherever the hell he was being sent this time to negotiate some new alliance between Konoha and another village. It seemed pointless to make alliances with each individual village rather than just the whole country, but at the same time, it offered more protection, since it would mean that all participating parties would be content with the peace.**

**Still, it sucked royally for him. Someone else knocked on his door.**

**"What now?" he moaned, fisting his hair. His dad came in, eyeing the mess on his floor, stepping around the mission papers. Shikamaru watched him critically. "I know I have to be ready by this evening," he muttered.**

**Shikato sighed, sitting on the edge of his son's bed, folding his hands and staring at his feet. Shikamaru sat up, watching his father wearily.**

**"Just... be careful with yourself, son," he sighed in his rough drawl, eyes closed. Shikamaru scoffed.**

**"It's just a diplomatic mission," he muttered, "There's nothing dangerous about it, well, aside from Konoha's relations with wherever they've sent me this time, but-"**

**"I wasn't referring to the mission," Shikato whispered, leaning forward to scoop up the papers on the floor. He handed them to his son with a smile, "Don't pass up good opportunities."**

**Shikamaru watched his father's back as the elder Nara left with consternation. Just what did his father mean by that?**

**Neji, obviously, but Shikamaru shook that thought from his head. His father had long ago resigned himself to Shikamaru's choice way of making the most money the fastest way he that involved the least amount of work. There was a soft rapping at his window almost immediately after the door closed behind his father, and Shikamaru rolled over and muffled an anguished groan with his pillow at being bothered for the third time in a row.**

**"What!?" he exclaimed, hand robotically snapping out to unlock the window. Kiba crawled in with a laugh.**

**"Bad night?" he asked, flopping down on Shikamaru's feet. The Nara grumbled into the pillow and Kiba cupped an ear; "What did you say? I couldn't hear you," he teased.**

**"Nothing!" Shikamaru growled, turning over- Kiba got off his feet to allow this then plopped right back down on them- and glowered at his accomplice. Kiba shrugged it off, unfazed.**

**"Right, anyways, I wanted to talk to you about that Hyuuga kid-"**

**Shikamaru cried out despairingly. "It's bad enough that he won't leave me alone, you don't have to make it worse by bringing him up when he _isn't_ around! What a drag..."**

**Kiba laughed mirthlessly, getting off his friend's bed and pacing around the room.**

**"Yeah, but really, you should give him a chance. A relationship can't be all that bad," he said.**

**"But you forget that this is Neji we're talking about. He's a Hyuuga, branch or not, and he's got the most petulant attitude in the world. You saw how he acted last night," Shikamaru sat up, scowling when his feet connected with the cold floor, "In all likelihood, he will respond the same way every time he doesn't get what he wants in the future, as well. I don't feel like dealing with him."**

**Kiba raised an eyebrow as the lazy man stood, stretching gracelessly. "Waking up with your pants on? That's new for you, Shikamaru."**

**"Shut up," he shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck as he picked his way to the dresser and pulled out his usual ninja outfit, changing right in front of Kiba- neither of them were bothered by it, they were whores. They stripped in front of others all the time, and getting dressed was probably one of the chastest things either of them ever did.**

**"I think you care more about the virgin-boy than you let on," Kiba diagnosed with a nod, "You should give him a try. A relationship might be good for you- hell; _he_ might be good for you."**

**Shikamaru scowled, "No."**

**Kiba rolled his eyes dramatically, letting his hands settle on his hips. He watched Shikamaru shuffle around his room, gathering random things and shoving them in random places. "You shouldn't pass up something like this. Not every whore gets a chance at a good relationship."**

**Shikamaru didn't answer, shoving a pair of kunai into his waist holder.**

**"Don't waste this chance, you unappreciative bastard."**

**"If all you're going to do is pester me, then just leave."**

**"Fine, lazy ass." There was nothing kind about the phrase this time.**

**"Goodbye, picky bastard," Shikamaru said in mock singsong, giving Kiba a nudge towards the window. Kiba rolled his eyes one last time and left with a huff. As soon as he was gone, Shikamaru slumped on the floor, letting his head fall back, hitting the wood siding of his bed with a thwack.**

**Hyuuga Neji. So maybe the once-virgin was offering him something not just everyone at that bar got, but he had offered it to the wrong person. Shikamaru just didn't want it.**

**Not today, but maybe tomorrow.**

**_-_**

_"Someday I'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you._

_... In the meantime,_

_I'll sport my brand new fashion of waking up with pants on at four in the afternoon."_

**_-_**

**A week later, Shikamaru drug himself home from the tiresome mission and collected his payment. The first thing he did after that was to go home, change, and count out the proper amount of bills for a mug of whiskey at the bar. He then walked to the club, muttering to himself about diplomats and wasting his time. It was a shock to him when he walked in and saw Kiba leaning against the bar, chatting with the Hyuuga Neji, who was occupying his chair, posture straight and legs crossed primly. He noticed Shikamaru's bewildered look first, answering with a smile and a wave. Kiba looked next.**

**"Hey, Shikamaru!" he exclaimed, slapping the lazy nin on the back, "How was your mission?"**

**"Boring," he intoned, shooting Neji a look.**

**"Welcome back, Nara-kun," Neji said, slipping off the chair, "I saved your seat for you."**

**Shikamaru scoffed, pushing past him and settling into his chair comfortably. "You didn't need to," he snarled, twisting to order his drink from the bartender, who complied, if slowly. He turned back to the two in front of him, Neji still with a smile plastered to his face, looking as though it were the most painful expression in the world, and Kiba glaring.**

**"I'm going to go dance," the mutt muttered, taking a swig of his beer, leaving it almost empty on the counter when he went. Shikamaru quirked a brow at this.**

**"He's built up a tolerance pretty quickly," he mumbled to himself, drumming his fingers on the counter as he waited for his whiskey to come. Neji nodded, though still watching Shikamaru with sad eyes and that painful smile. There was a twinge in Shikamaru's heart, as some string was pulled, but he ultimately rolled his eyes and called over his shoulder, "Oi, where's the whiskey?"**

**"There is none," the bartender answered, "It was all bought earlier tonight."**

**Shikamaru caught the slight glance the bartender spared for Neji, and instantly made the connection. "You, Hyuuga," he seethed, "You bought the whiskey."**

**Neji shrugged noncommittally, flipping his hair over his shoulder. The smile slipped away, replaced by a fearless face, as if challenging Shikamaru to be angry with him. Instead, Shikamaru once again rolled his eyes and slipped off the stool, leading Neji away by a hand on the small of his back, this time bothered greatly by the fact that Neji was a few inches taller. "Then let's waste naught of your precious money," he said darkly, "Damn you."**

**Neji laughed breezily, "It's better that you don't get your whiskey."**

**"Shut it with your know-it-all attitude, Hyuuga," Shikamaru spat, "_Virgin-boy_. Troublesome. You should learn not to meddle in other peoples' affairs."**

**"Only yours," Neji answered with a smile, "And I'm not a virgin."**

**"Yeah, I _know_, but you still act like one, with all this relationship crap," only innocent people believed in _love_ and _happily ever after_. "Why do you keep trying when you know I don't want a relationship? You're wasting your time."**

**"Because you're worth it," he answered airily, "Besides, I have plenty of time on my hands."**

**Worth it? "Tch, troublesome!" Shikamaru shoved Neji into the apartment, tossing the keys at the basket, not caring when they missed, the basket following them into the sink. He kicked the door shut behind him, guiding Neji by the shoulders. When Neji suddenly turned around to protest something, Shikamaru pulled him into a hard kiss, tangling his hands in the Hyuuga's hair, not caring if he mussed it up or if Hiashi noticed. Maybe then Neji would get some sense knocked into him.**

**As soon as he thought it, Shikamaru felt a little guilty, and that only spurred him on; his teeth clicked against Neji's and he slipped his tongue into the other's mouth, Neji trying desperately too keep up. Eventually Neji hit the back of the couch, set in the middle of the main room, and Shikamaru kept him pinned there, hands feeling everything he could reach under the yukata with the knots still doubled. While he worked on one knot, Neji's shaking hands began to work on another. In moments the Yukata crumpled to the floor, leaving Neji shivering, even with Shikamaru flush against him.**

**With shaking hands, he pushed Shikamaru's shirt up, and the Nara pulled away to allow it to come off. He also took the time to remove his pants and boxers. This time Neji didn't wait to be told to take his off, and followed suit. Shikamaru produced another bottle of lubricant- from where, Neji couldn't tell- and said, "Turn around."**

**"I'd rather face-" Neji shut up and complied at the look Shikamaru gave him which expressed that he was clearly not in the mood to argue. He braced himself on the back of the couch as Shikamaru stepped forward and inserted two fingers, clenching his jaw against the sounds that wanted to come out. He felt more than heard Shikamaru chuckling behind him, and his shoulders tensed.**

**Soon Shikamaru's arms wrapped around him, and he felt the Nara push in slowly, his breath running hot across his shoulder. He couldn't stop the slight moan as Shikamaru began thrusting, not as hard as Kiba, but with more force and at a faster pace than their first time. Neji couldn't hold back all of his shouts- Shikamaru had not forgotten where his spot was, or how to hit it every time. Tears formed in his eyes because it felt so good it hurt, and he could just tell- he could _just tell_- Shikamaru was smirking at him, because he couldn't choke back the moans any more than he could hold in the shouts.**

**"Shikamaru, I- I-"**

**"Damnit!" Shikamaru cursed, one of his hands moving to cover Neji's mouth, "Don't say it, you troublesome virgin!"**

**"I l-lo-" he cried out when Shikamaru slammed in, but missed his spot and it was painful, rather than pleasurable, but forged on nonetheless, "I love you!"**

**They came almost simultaneously, Shikamaru quickly pulling away, stumbling and falling onto the floor. The only sounds were the sounds of their labored breathing. Neji was still bent over the couch, gripping the back with his hands until the tips of his fingers turned white from the pressure. He blinked back the tears, and Shikamaru let out a hollow laugh.**

**"Get out," he said hoarsely, "And toss me those cigarettes while you're at it."**

**Neji glanced at the packet sitting on the cushion in front of him, grabbed it with a snarl, ignoring the lighter laid neatly on top of it, and threw them at Shikamaru, who caught them easily. Not caring that there was no lighter- or perhaps just not noticing- he took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips, his laughter diminishing to cruel chuckles. "_I love you!_ he says," Shikamaru mocked. "Troublesome virgin-boy. Should have stayed clear of him! Troublesome. Virgin-boy's are always such idiots."**

**Neji watched sadly as Shikamaru sat sprawled on the floor, naked and covered in sweat, sucking on a dry cigarette, muttering to himself. The lazy nin's eyes slid back to him, suddenly realizing that he was still there. His eyebrows drew down into a sharp V. "I said leave, virgin-boy!" he spat, "As in get your ass dressed and get it out of here. Now."**

**Just as quickly as he had grown angry, Shikamaru slumped back again, propping himself up with an arm, chewing the cigarette and muttering to himself languidly. Neji quickly dressed and left. He heard a thump as Shikamaru's arm slipped and he fell back onto the floor.**

**So this was what the great Nara Shikamaru was reduced to with just those three words.**

**"Relationships! Love!" Shikamaru exclaimed loudly enough to be heard out on the street, "Troublesome virgin-boy is an idiot."**

**But as much as Shikamaru denied it, Neji knew that the whore needed to be loved, needed someone to be there for him. And he wanted to be him.**

**_-_**

_"You need him,_

_I could be him."_

**_-_**

**Kiba didn't knock the next morning when he entered Shikamaru's room at that old seedy motel. He didn't blink when he found Shikamaru laid out on the floor, nude, surrounded by an array of soggy cigarettes, one still perched precariously between his lips. He didn't say a word as he picked him up off the ground and carried him to the bathroom, cleaning him up before dressing him. He threw the empty cancer carton away before lying on the bed next to Shikamaru, folding his arms behind his head. They lay like that for a long time.**

**"Shikamaru," Kiba breathed, "This probably isn't a good time, but I'm not going back to the club."**

**Shikamaru exhaled, frowning; "Why not?"**

**Kiba sighed. "The note I put in your pocket a while ago explained it. Guess you didn't read it. I'm through being a whore. I've got something better now, Shikamaru. "**

**"A relationship," Shikamaru spat with malice, "I see. Congratulations."**

**"Hey, don't give me that!" Kiba growled, turning to face Shikamaru, propping himself up on an elbow. Shikamaru continued to stare at the ceiling. After a while, he asked, "Aren't you going to ask me who?"**

**"It's obvious," Shikamaru said, "Shino."**

**Kiba couldn't help a grin. "Bingo." Shikamaru heaved another sigh.**

**"Virgin-boy again?" Kiba prompted, lying back down. Shikamaru nodded with a grimace.**

**"Yeah," he muttered, "He said it again."**

**Kiba laughed, "I told you! You should just give him a go, Shikamaru. Relationships might not be all that bad. Me 'n Shino are happy."**

**"You and I are different, Kiba. _Neji and Shino_, are different. The chances of Neji and I having a smooth, convenient, un-troublesome relationship is nil."**

**"But if there wasn't anything to work toward improving in a relationship it would be boring!" Kiba whined. Shikamaru gave him a look. He laughed. "Right. Lazy asses like boring. I forgot. Man, watching you and this virgin-boy is like watching some huge chase, we're all just waiting for the finale, the final crash. Wonder who'll come out the winner in the end, ne?"**

**Shikamaru shrugged.**

**"All I can say is that it won't be him. I will not get tangled up in some messy relationship."**

**Kiba laughed, "Right. We'll just see when it all clears."**

**"At least I'm still _trying_ to avoid a relationship. Not much I can say for you."**

**This time Kiba shrugged. "Yeah, but mine won't be an accident like yours will be."**

**"How many times do I have to say it before I make myself clear? I'm not going to end up in a relationship with anyone, least of all that nagging virgin-boy! Sheesh."**

**_-_**

_"I could be an accident, but I'm still trying,_

_and that's more than I can say for him."_

**_-_**

**The first time Neji didn't return until morning Hiashi knew something had changed about Neji's late-night trysts. His hair had still been smooth and brushed, yukata still double-knotted. But there were things only a Hyuuga could have noticed. There were slight creases as though the article had set on the floor all night, there were marks on Neji's neck. It was early in the morning, and Neji had not suspected that his uncle would have cared enough to wait up for him. But Hiashi had, and Hiashi knew: Neji had found a lover.**

**It didn't take long- in fact, it took less time than Neji's three day mission took- for Hiashi to hone in on the two possible candidates for Neji's lover. Nara Shikamaru and Inuzuka Kiba, both prominent whores at the club, which he found Neji had a membership at after checking the Branch Hyuuga's financial records. His nephew had covered his tracks well, but Hiashi had had no trouble figuring out it had been him who opened the account. He began to keep tabs on the two whores.**

**So, when he heard Inuzuka Kiba had quit, disappearing from the club altogether one night and never returning, Hiashi waited to see if Neji would discontinue his visits. This did not happen, and Hiashi knew who Neji's lover was. He was not unduly worried- Nara Shikamaru was not the type for relationships, and Neji was unlikely to fall in love with someone of that type. Neji knew where his duties lay. With the Hyuuga.**

**Then, Shikamaru accepted a month long mission to Suna to finalize treaties, but Neji continued to visit the club, and Hiashi was baffled.**

**_Then_, Neji stopped double-knotting his yukata, and Hiashi understood. There was another withdrawal, and Hiashi knew the money had been spent on a room at that seedy hotel, notorious for the whores who did their business there. It was then that Hyuuga Hiashi regretted his lack of action, his lack of foresight. He could only watch sadly from his window as Neji left every night, hair brushed, sometimes hanging loose but usually still tied back, and yukata tied in lonely, single knots, which Neji often had to stop to tighten again before he'd even reached the gates.**

**And he wondered what Neji's boy- because that was what he had come to think of Shikamaru as- would think of this new development when he returned.**

**_-_**

_"Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman._

_And maybe he won't find out what I know:_

_You were the last good thing about this part of town."_

**_-_**

**Shikamaru didn't return to the bar at first when he came home from the mission. He opted to spend his time sleeping and muttering about sandy places (there was _still_ sand in some of the pockets of his pants and vest) for about a week. Then he finally got up off his lazy ass and made the trek to the club, counting out the bills for a mug of whiskey. He was about fed up with making money the hard way- missions and negotiations (and especially the sand siblings) were just too complicated and troublesome. Fuck-and-go's were so much simpler, and paid about the same, if not more, by the hour as his negotiations. With the same pay, it was no wonder Shikamaru chose the latter method.**

**Therefore, he was much relieved when Neji was not occupying his seat when he arrived. After ordering his whiskey and claiming his seat, Shikamaru scanned the back wall. He could spot no lilac yukatas or petulant Hyuugas sulking there, and told himself he was relieved. (Somewhere at the bottom of his heart, another string was given a sharp twang that he had not been important enough to the troublesome virgin-boy to be waited for). The whiskey mug was set down to his right, and he transferred it to the left. He found that Kiba was also absent, as the Inuzuka had foretold, and sighed, missing his accomplice.**

**Someone walked up to the bar, leaning over it casually, whispering something to the bartender. "How much would you pay for-" Shikamaru's words dried up as said person turned to him with a smile.**

**"Hello, Nara-kun," he said. Shikamaru gaped, then snapped his mouth shut, turning away with a grumble.**

**"Still at it then, virgin-boy?" he ground out, folding his arms. The bartender laughed.**

**"No, afraid not," Neji said lightly, "Try not to be too disappointed."**

**Shikamaru scoffed, "As if I'd be disappointed. Go bother someone else."**

**A light shone in Neji's eyes as he smiled over at the lazy nin; "That was the plan all along, Nara-kun." Shikamaru watched with wide eyes as the bartender passed Neji a shot of whiskey- a better brand than the one he normally purchased- and Neji chuckled as he walked off. It was then Shikamaru noticed that Neji's yukata was not done up in double-knots. He groaned to himself, sinking in his chair, watching in annoyance as Neji slipped the tiny cup into an attractive male on the dance floor's hand. The man stopped dancing, looked Neji up and down, then followed him to the restrooms, where Shikamaru could only imagine what happened next.**

**He settled back to wait for some schmuck to come to him, but no-one came, and the next person to stand at his side again was Neji, back from the bathroom, lips parted, slightly swollen, breathing just calming down to a normal pace. Shikamaru watched his pale eyes dart across the floor, seeking out a new victim as a hand snaked out over the counter, and the bartender placed another shot glass in it. Shikamaru snatched it away, swirling it. Neji watched him do this with a bemused look.**

**"Let's see just how much you've improved, virgin-boy," he smirked, pouring the better whiskey into his mug as he got up. Neji shrugged and followed. There was a brief battle over who would lead who before Neji won out, wrapping his arm around the Nara's waist, pulling him close to his side affectionately.**

**"Since it's you," Neji began, "And I owe you a favor or two, I won't charge."**

**Shikamaru scoffed. "So you're worth money now, are you?"**

**Neji shrugged nonchalantly, opting not to tell Shikamaru that he was actually worth more than him now, guiding Shikamaru up four flights of stairs at that same seedy hotel. He released his companion's waist to produce the key from a breast pocket on the inside of his yukata. He smiled and nodded at Shikamaru, who muttered and looked away, then unlocked the door exactly to the right of Shikamaru's. Shikamaru made no comment. Neji smirked- it was obvious Shikamaru was bothered by these changes. But there was something Shikamaru still didn't know.**

**The door swung open on well-oiled (and well-used) hinges, Neji pulling the Nara in after him, sweeping him into a deep kiss. Unconsciously, Shikamaru's hands gripped Neji's yukata and the top fell open, the loose single-knots coming undone of their own accord. He pulled away, watching aghast as the top parted, exposing Neji's pale chest. And his collar bones, marked with a few fading hickeys. Neji smiled softly, caressing then cupping the shocked Shikamaru's cheek lovingly.**

**"I'm not your little virgin-boy, anymore," he whispered, _I am not innocent anymore_.**

**_I don't believe in love... anymore_.**

**_-_**

_"(won't find out)_

_He won't find out."_

**_-_**

**Shikamaru then pulled him into a kiss, and was shocked once more when Neji fought for dominance. He was even more surprised when Neji was good- so good, in fact, that Shikamaru's knees buckled beneath him. He would have crumpled to the floor had Neji not caught him, pressing him against the wall. Determined not to loose completely, Shikamaru wrapped his legs around Neji's, rubbing their arousals together. Against him, Neji moaned, sucking on the juncture of his neck and jaw, nipping it and moving on with a kiss to the reddened spot. His hands tangled in Neji's hair as he gasped for air, the other mouthing a nipple through his shirt before removing the article in one fluid motion.**

**This time it was Shikamaru's turn to shiver as Neji's hands feathered up his sides lovingly, their bodies still pressed together hard enough to keep him pinned to the wall. Everything Neji did was a contradiction- his hands making long, gentle caresses up and down his sides, brushing his neck and cupping his face like a lover of many years would while with his mouth he nipped and bit his way down Shikamaru's abs, steadily approaching the hem of his pants. Neji's hands stopped on his waist, holding him up as he undid the tie holding Shikamaru's pants up with his teeth. They slipped halfway down his thighs, and before he could unlink his legs to let them fall the rest of the way, Neji took his erection into his mouth- all in one go. He gave a shout, throwing his head back, causing it to collide with the wall. Neither man cared.**

**Neji's tongue swirled around him, and he bit down on his bottom lip to prevent any sounds from escaping. As a whore of much experience, he was able to take it all silently, but damn, was it difficult when it just felt _so damned good_. He came with a loud gasp, and Neji let him slip down the wall until they were face-to-face, pressing their bodies together and gripping his ass as he held him. Shikamaru self-consciously tried to calm his breathing and wipe the stunned expression on his face, but apparently couldn't by the pleased look on Neji's face. He groaned when Neji licked away the small amount of semen dribbling down his chin.**

**Unlinking his legs- letting his pants come off completely- and reaching out to grip Neji's hair, it was his full intention to turn things around and reclaim his role as seme. But Neji leaned forward, unaffected by Shikamaru's grip on his hair, and looked him dead in the eyes as he asked, "Could... could I top, this time?" And there was something about his voice, the way he hesitated at it wavered just so, that Shikamaru couldn't say no. He just groaned, nodding and rolling his eyes, releasing the silky locks of Neji's hair. Neji smiled and kissed him, their bodies so close Shikamaru couldn't tell where his ended and where Neji's started anymore, as Neji undid one more tie in his yukata and the garment pooled at his feet.**

**Neji produced a tube of lubricant from its place pinched between his hip and the waistband of his boxers, squeezing some onto his fingers before dropping it to the floor. Still kissing Shikamaru, Neji reached into his own boxers- white this time, instead of the black ones he used to wear, as though it were some form of mockery of his nickname, "virgin-boy", and his new position in the club's life- coating himself with lube. Neji withdrew his hand, simultaneously stepping out of the silken material, and slipped three fingers into Shikamaru at once, causing his legs to tighten around Neji's waist. It didn't take long for him to decide Shikamaru was prepared enough**

**"Shikamaru," Neji whispered against his lips, positioning himself. Shikamaru clenched his jaw against the phrase he knew was coming- _I love you_.**

**"I'm sorry." Shikamaru choked back a shout when Neji slammed in, hitting his prostate from the first thrust. A wave of disappointment washed over him. He couldn't understand it; the words were taboo, forbidden! He didn't _like_ hearing those words, so why was his sad that Neji hadn't said them? Losing himself in the feeling, Shikamaru wrapped his arms around Neji's shoulders, holding the Hyuuga close as he forgot not to moan or let on that he was enjoying it. God, how he had missed this. His lips found Neji's and kissed him tenderly, feeling another pang in his heart when his once virgin-boy kissed him back roughly, giving pleasure where he could. And god, _how he had missed this_!**

**Neji's hands found their way to Shikamaru's hard-on, wrapping around him and pumping gently, utterly ignoring the rhythm of his own thrusts as he did so. Shikamaru tightened his embrace on Neji, breaking away from the kiss and burying his face in the crook of Neji's neck as he came, crying out.**

**_I love you!_ Taboo. Forbidden. Cursed. Shikamaru knew he could never say it out loud, but he had thought it. That singular, stupid, troublesome phrase, and Neji came soon after, pulling away and letting the Nara slip to the floor. Shikamaru was crying, and by the look on Neji's face, the Hyuuga couldn't understand why.**

**Because Shikamaru loved someone who used to love him, but could no longer love him. Neji said something, but he couldn't make out what it was, and the Hyuuga shook his head, pulling on his yukata and leaving. Shikamaru slumped back against the wall, letting his silent sobs wrack over him. He loved him, he loved that fucking bastard, the petulant, troublesome, Hyuuga. And that Hyuuga used to love him, and he had passed it up. Neji wasn't innocent any more, he didn't believe in love, just as Shikamaru had believed of himself not hours before.**

**And Nara Shikamaru knew he was done for, because he could never say those three words out loud. Ever.**

**_-_**

_"(won't find out)_

_He won't find out."_

**_-_**

**It didn't take long for Shikamaru's legacy to fade into history, overcome by Neji's living legacy which had rapidly expanded into something far greater than the Nara's had ever been. Shikamaru still slunk to the bar, slouching in his self-claimed chair, fingering his mug of cheap whiskey. He sunk to new lows- no-one would come to him, and he had to lower his prices and offer himself to the dirtiest of scoundrels that were usually siphoned off to the lowest quality whores. Meanwhile, Neji scampered around with his shots of high quality whiskey, slipping them into the hands of handsome men and slinking off- sometimes with two or three of them- to either a restroom stall or his room at that accursed seedy hotel.**

**Eventually Shikamaru gave up on the whiskey completely, opting to walk in, nab someone's sleeve and drag them off to his room, doing what he had to as quickly as he could before Neji arrived with someone and Shikamaru had to listen to the obscene sounds that would emanate from there. Neji took up his seat at the bar, a tray of whiskey shots balanced on his lap, smiling and watching the dance floor as though he owned it. No-one called him virgin-boy any more, except for Kiba, because Shikamaru never had the heart to tell him.**

**It didn't take long before Shikamaru stopped going to the club altogether. Occupying himself with mission after mission, he convinced himself he was better off, shaking his head and muttering "Troublesome" when Temari professed her love to him. He refused any more missions to Suna. His parents were near tears when they discovered he hadn't visited the club in almost four months, and Hiashi could be seen ambling around town with his eyes downcast and frown set deeper than ever. Neji began to become a common face in one of the northeast clubs in addition to the single one in the northwest district.**

**Six months after he had packed up and left, Shikamaru went back and visited the seedy motel, staring at the new nameplate on Kiba's door- he had never bothered to look at it before- and the one now tacked tastelessly to his. He didn't know either of them, and continued down to the bar. He chatted with the counter man, learning that Neji had taken one or two rising whores under his wing, teaching them what he called an art. Shikamaru dumped out the rest of his drink with a sneer, walking out, disgusted. And he'd started it all, exposing Neji to the world he had been king of.**

**Craning his neck up to watch the night sky, scuffing his feet, hands shoved in his pockets, he wondered just where Neji was, and just where he would end up. And he hoped it wouldn't be where he'd ended up.**

**_-_**

_"Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman._

_And maybe he won't find out what I know:_

_You were the last good thing about this part of town."_

**_-_**

**_-_**

FIRST! I want to say that But Don't Stop is NOT discontinued. It is merely on HIATUS due to my renewed obsession with Shino x Kiba and a fic that I'm writing. When I either get tired of the Shino x Kiba fic (unlikely, given the attention the story is receiving at the moment) or when I finish (also not in the near future, seeing as the projected length is somewhere near 37 chapters) I will return to the story.

In other words, it may take me a long time to get back to it. But fear not! I swear, I will finish that story if it is the end of me!

Now, for the stuff pertaining to this fic...

//shoots herself// I need to stop writing ungodly long one-shots and songfics. Songfics are supposed to be short, anyways!! Why are mine so long!?!? This was thirty flippin' pages, the longest thing I've ever written, swear to god (well, maybe it isn't, but I'm too lazy to check now).

This was written in 500 word blocks. No really, I would get on, and I would either get kicked off, lose interest, hit a brick wall plot-wise, or reach the end of a scene after 500 words.

I want to explain how the song lyrics correlate with the story, because it might be difficult to decipher, but that would take so long to do... that I'm just not willing to. Like with most of my songfics, this story makes just as much sense without the lyrics. I only include the lyrics because they are most definitely what inspired the story.

I've noticed a trend... FOB songs make me think of Neji x Shikamaru and MCR songs make me think of Shino x Kiba. Hmm, no wonder the stories never have particularly "happy" endings, huh?

Expect more songfics in the future (and hopefully not as long as this one). Which reminds me... do you prefer longer songfics, or would you rather they were shorter and actually incorporated the lyrics?

Thanks to my BETA, because if she hadn't liked the first half of this, I probably wouldn't have finished.

--And, on a side-note to cover my ass, the comment I made up at the top about the 'generic Neji the slut' stories... I'm not bashing those stories! It's a good plot idea, and it seems to fit his personality in a way. Some of the stories which follow that plot-line are actually among my favorite Neji x Shikamaru fics! So I really hope I didn't offend anyone with that comment... 'cuz I swear, I didn't mean to. I was just trying to explain where the idea for this came from!


	4. Closed Doors

**Author's Notes:** Kind of dark, kind of fluffy? It's a bit choppy and the thoughts probably could have, should have, been separated better... but I tried, alright? I wrote this at three in the morning so my mind would leave me the fuck alone and let me sleep for once.

I tried not to make it dark, since Neji x Shikamaru fans don't really like dark. Don't know how well that worked out, but... here. Take it or leave it.

* * *

**Closed Doors**

Neji hates closed doors. Shikamaru doesn't see the point in them.

To Neji, closed doors mean places he can't go, because he is a member of the Bunke. Closed doors emphasize that he is a caged bird. Closed doors are when he has been a bad boy and must be punished. They mean the day his father died and the door to Hizashi's room was locked, and they mean secret conversations deciding his future. Mean lectures and restrictions on his abilities every time he advances, jutsu kept hidden away under lock and key.

To Shikamaru closed doors are a nuisance, always requiring locking and unlocking, opening and closing. They're something to complain about. The only thing they're good for is shutting out nagging mothers and whipped fathers, as well as the occasional unwanted thought. Other than that, he thinks they're useless.

Doors are used to shut out feelings that are unwanted, or considered inopportune, but which there nonetheless, until a person can't stand it and either explodes into rage or breaks into pieces (Shikamaru has seen both scenarios; once was Neji). Closed doors mean much needed friends shout out in times of darkness, when the soul is floundering (Shikamaru has used doors for this purpose altogether too often, though Neji always finds a way back in). He knows that lies and secrets hide behind closed doors, poisoning those around them.

No, Shikamaru has a strong distaste for closed doors- they are nothing but trouble, in his book.

To Neji, Shikamaru is one of the few open doors he has come across in his life, and he loves Shikamaru for it, for Shikamaru is like magic. He slips in (like a shadow, Neji fancies) touching each of the closed doors in his world and leaving them open, one at a time, in his wake. With minimal effort and a lazy smile, of course, but he opens those closed doors for Neji, either way, and Neji loves him for it.

It is agreed, silently, that they look upon closed doors with great disdain and vow never to close doors on each other.


End file.
